Terror and Joy...

Worship is rote. No fault of worship. Human condition pretty much dictates that when we do something on a regular basis, it becomes easy not to think too much about it. That makes the cleaning of toilets bearable, but might not be so helpful in, say, weekly dates with your spouse.

This week in worship, I wished for a camera. Wishes don't come true. But the image imprinted itself in my brain and I keep watching it. Fact: acolytes hate to acolyte. Hate might be too strong a word, but truth is, once the excitement wears off and acolyting becomes rote, they hate to acolyte. (Mostly because they don't get to sit with their friends and they have to wear a dress--girls and boys.)

This week, we had a new acolyte. She volunteered--being just a little young for a spot on the rote list. Acolytes enter from the back, bringing what we affectionately call "the candle lighter thingy" crowned with real fire down the isle to light the candles on the communion table. Sometimes we forget to watch the acolyte do their thing, but this week was different.

Our acolyte wears her feelings all over her face and Sunday was no different. She radiated a mixture of excitement and fear. She couldn't believe she was actually getting to bring in the Light of Christ. She was ecstatically joyful. She hoped she was doing it right. She was completely terrified.

We all should have been ecstatically joyful and completely terrified. We come together into the presence of God on a Sunday morning. We ask the Spirit to make herself known. We invoke the name of the Almighty God. (Annie Dillard says ushers should pass out life preservers instead of bulletins in case God ever really grants our wish for God's presence.)

Rote dulls our senses to the terror we should feel at the chance of encountering our God face to face and being forever changed. Rote dulls our senses to the reality of the joy we can claim as forgiven children of God welcomed to God's worship with open arms by the one who loved us enough to die for us.

Our little acolyte wanted to participate in this great drama more than anything. She worked for a long time to get into the "rote-a-tion." Don't know what her experience was ultimately, but I know she challenged me to step out of the routine and into the terror and joy of opening myself to God.